8-31-06 12:29 pm

I have class soon. I don’t want to go in the rain. I had dreams last night, dreams of people, and things. Dreams that Chad was giving up on me, and I woke up hurting. And it hurt that I was hurting. I dreamed that he said he loved me but he didn’t want to be with me anymore because all he was doing was babysitting me. He didn’t want to babysit me anymore. Then he imed me this morning. We talked for a long time. He told me he needed to know what my feelings were on the situation. Where I stood. I told him I didn’t want to live my life in fear, and that I would no longer. But that trust was not really there anymore. I told him that I didn’t know what was going to happen between him and I, I don’t want to make any plans. The universe brings me things to teach me lessons and I need to learn them. I’m certainly not hurting like I was, but there are still times when everything becomes painful, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be over him. I love him, loved him and he stays in my thoughts.

I saw your side was not slept in
Cold sheets again
Remind me of what you said
We need to take a break for a while
It's been so long since I smiled
I don't wanna listen now
Live this day down

I don't wanna know it's over
So save your goodbye kiss
I don't want to know it's over
Cause ignorance is bliss
I can hardly see
What's in front of me

I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took
That you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend that I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end