everyone is looking for someone
that can make it worth
getting out of bed
in the morning
some are lucky enough
to find that person
the rest of us
on the other hand
find ourselves hitting the snooze button
repeatedly
cause sometimes
the morning sun
is just too much to bear.
I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life. Another stumble and fall I suppose. Another pick me up. Hurts. But, shit happens. I’m realizing that I so badly am starting to miss that companionship, that person that I don’t know super well that there aren’t any complications with that I can make love with and wake up in the morning and think about during the day in a none committed way and move on with my day. Nothing complicated, just something simple, friendly, sweet, and fun. No baggage, just someone to call at random and talk about the day if I feel like, or to go see a movie with maybe or to not talk to if I want time alone. Why is that hard to find? As Alisha would call it, uncomplicated ass, heh. But its not just about ass, its about having a companion too, someone to get to know and learn new things from. Boo.
Cover Your eyes pretty girl
Heaven is storming tonight
The angels are roaming free
Trying to warn these lovers
To take shelter. elsewhere
Cover your ears pretty girl
The sounds of death won't last
This storm will soon pass
Your smile will come back to you
But it will forever be cracked.
Like the wind when the trees fall
And the drops are as big as your eyes.
The roads are covered in dirt
And the sun slips away from you
Heaven is storming tonight
All the leeves will soon break
It will sound like your heart
When he walked away
I really did have a psychotic break last night. I’m realizing now that it was serious but good for me. I didn’t runaway from myself, didn’t drown it in cigarettes or alcohol or sex, I dealt with myself. My stomach has been killing me the past couple of days, I haven’t been able to eat a thing, I’m bloated like I used to be and just hurts, a lot. I couldn’t sleep last night, I had to go outside to sleep. I fell asleep on the porch. I wish I had a tent that I could pitch in the backyard, I would sleep out there. This whole thing with Nate bothered me so much I think because I was just so looking forward to getting to know someone new. Getting to spend sometime with someone different, it wasn’t really that I wanted to date him or anything along those lines (I don’t think) but it was just someone to have a friendship with. I love getting to know people, and I was looking forward to that. I wish, that if he didn’t want to go to that movie he had just told me, I wish that he had just been honest with me, I don’t deal well without closure, don’t leave me hanging. It hurts. And it hurts just because I don’t really understand people treating other people in that way…I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised especially after everything with
