9-20-06 8:04 am
Went and saw a movie with Steve last night. I’m confused about how I feel about this whole situation. I guess I shouldn’t be so confused, I should just sit back and enjoy the company of another cool person. He has been so super decent and respectful to me. More so than any guy I think I’ve ever spent time with. I’ve slept in the same bed with him twice and the most he’s done is put an arm on my back in his sleep (and well, stand in my closet ;)~). Heh heh, that’s a story for another day. I don’t know, its just so cool, and he’s sweet as hell, making comments like, “I feel good when I’m around you, so we should definitely hang out again.” On the same note, I had a long talk with Nate the other night, the guy that stood me up. We had already discussed the standing upness, but he’s good friends with Steve, and we talked for almost an hour in my car, cause I took him home from a cookout with the guys. He was talking to me about Steve, telling me to keep with that… I told him I wasn’t looking for anything especially with everything I just got out of. Also, my life is a little complicated, I’d worry about bringing anyone else into that.
Last week was an interesting one, I felt like I was going crazy, like I really needed to be put in a ward. But I did find out the planets were all screwy, maybe that was it, maybe its also me releasing everything, the bumps in the road. I’m growing and learning and that’s all I can do. School is hard, but I have a handle on it when I can concentrate and last week wasn’t one of those weeks, but this week, I’ve got it under control. I’ve been to all of my classes and I’m holding it down. I haven’t been feeling great, but I’m working on fixing that. I’m glad I don’t have any commitments to anyone but myself.
Stupid I guess, but here’s something that’s been bothering me. I’ve gotten so self absorbed being alone. I’m sorry for you people that I talk to because I talk about myself so much. I guess its cause that’s all I really have to talk about. This may sound really really stupid but I’d love to be in love with someone just to get out of myself for a bit. Does that make any sense? Guess I don’t have much in the way of production to say today. I’m gonna go get in the shower.
