So, here it is... I'm terribly, horribly, unhappily depressed. Somehow, I managed to get myself wrapped up in a relationship that is seemingly the nice version of what Chad and I had. I'm unhappy. I feel like I spend all my time trying to get attention from Steve, begging for his acknowledgment and his acceptance. The harder I try, the worse it gets. I don't think its about me not loving myself, I'm down with that, but I'd love to have a relationship based out of equality. I don't believe that I should have to ask to be a priority to the man that says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Is that so hard to do? I don't know what the hell to do..
In other news, I have a job interview tomorrow with a cookie decorating bakery. I'm super excited! Its a seasonal position, but it doesn't matter, I really need the money and the escape from this house. Wish me luck!!
1 comment:
hey love,
thanks for writing stuff. i do still read. i stop in every now and again to see if you've put any thoughts down. i'm sorry that things are not going so well. i don't really have any advice, just a couple of good ears and good arms for hugs.
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