Blah de da

School started back... That's been a little crazy, can't even talk without mixing up my anatomy. Things are much better these days, I think some realizations were made and some understandings were reached. Went fishing last weekend and caught a 4.5 lb fish, that was pretty awesome! Also took Maggie swimming in the lake which was so much fun! I'm always worried about her endurance but she was such a champ! Walked a half mile and swam a whole bunch and didn't give me a hard time about it. We will be going on longer walks to keep that back leg healthy. I love my lab, we have three girls including me, and my instructor takes it easy with us, so much more individualized which is so nice with such a high volume class... I think the summer is my time, I feel much better, much less negative and I don't feel like I'm in such a downward spiral, its refreshing, just taking care of myself, which automatically takes care of relationships... I do still miss all of my friends but even if I wanted to I don't have much time for socialization, sad, but true. Work is wonderful! We love like a family and we fight like a family, it actually feels good. I'm responsible for so much, but if it gets too much to handle someone is always there to help. Tonight is me time night, Steve's at band practice, I'm actually getting to the point that I look forward to this time, the apartments clean and we are on a common goal of eating better around here, that makes a big difference in how one feels.
Relationships... They are hard, and sometimes they suck. There is never any justification for what anyone does out of anger. But there is more than one guilty party in this one. I will not be in an abusive relationship, I've lived in too much pain and sorrow because of other people and myself to continue this pattern for the rest of my life. I'm on top of it, we have both risen above it and I feel so much more whole because of that accomplishment. Somehow, because those mean people are not who we really are, we turned it around and started over. Its refreshing, like falling in love all over again. We have the power to change the energy that we emit, perceive and relate too. I love you Ataxia, I'm sorry that I've been bad at responding to you, sometimes when things get shitty its hard to talk. I will call you soon. I think about you all the time and I hope you're happy. Love!